For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.
Before you ever drew breath, death was at work, shaping you. The universe is a web of relationships in a process of becoming. And in this process, life and death are not opposites. Death is not simply something that happens when life fails; the disturbing reality is that at a biological level, death is one... Continue Reading →
It is just over a year now since Dad passed. Time does not heal. All it does is provide more opportunities to keep busy and temporarily forget. But lately I have been wrestling with the concept of death, trying to make sense of a world where one moment you can be here, and then things... Continue Reading →
Hope is like a leopard. Even when it is there, you often have to make a concerted effort to find it. That has been my experience, anyway. Hope is an elusive creature, shy and unobtrusive. But she is exquisitely beautiful. And once you see her, once her image is imprinted on your mind, she is... Continue Reading →
I want to share one of my poems with you. I’ve grown tired of letting them gather dust, waiting for some journal’s approval. They’ve endured enough rejection — perhaps the internet will prove a kinder soil. Most of my poems circle around quiet desolation. This one is no different — except that a thread of... Continue Reading →
Arthur Reginald Ruddock (1947-2025) There was a moment, always just before the slam of the car door, when I’d catch the sound of your engine pulling into the driveway. Mom would unlock the kitchen door, and I’d run to meet you—always faster than my sisters—because I wanted the first hug, the newspaper, the moment. Cartoons... Continue Reading →
Tomorrow I turn fifty. It’s not a milestone I’ve dreaded, though I’ve certainly felt its weight approaching. But it’s not the weight of regret. It’s the weight of awareness—of having carried things, for a long time, that were never mine to hold. Of having mistaken anxiety for purpose. Of thinking I had to make something... Continue Reading →
Hope is difficult to speak about with integrity. Too often, it is made to sound like denial—like a way to silence grief, soften injustice, or sidestep the complexity of human pain: “Everything happens for a reason”, or “She’s in a better place now”. I am frankly sickened by how Evangelical Christians celebrate God’s leading them... Continue Reading →
I have felt sad and alone for as long as I can remember. So when you say that you feel sad and nobody understands, you are wrong. Me and depression have a long history together. If you had been a reader, which I accept you are not, you would have possibly read this blog already.... Continue Reading →
Looking back at it now, I begin to appreciate just how terrified you must have been. I suspect that unless you have lived in Africa and encountered them up close, it is difficult to comprehend just how massive an elephant truly is, and just how small you are in comparison. We had come around the... Continue Reading →
You don’t get to choose where you are born, nor the body you are born into. You get what you get and you don’t complain. Well, you can complain but there is no point. There are no returns and no refunds. Another year is gone, and, as we celebrate another year together as pilgrims on... Continue Reading →
Vapors In The Wind 